I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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