I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How naked do you want me to be?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
