So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
