Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
