I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
