Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
