What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
