i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize