careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
