Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
