well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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