I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
