fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Where is the hickey?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
