Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
