I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
