OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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