That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
