if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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