I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
