just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Houston, we have a blender
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize