8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
