it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
