hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
