He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
