Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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