so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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