just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
