oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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