Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
