I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
