I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
