There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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