dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize