Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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