Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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