Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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