I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
