Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
meet me or not, i'm out of control
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
