I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize