Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
