walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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