have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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