Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize