you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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