its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
