i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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