found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
