I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
