drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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