i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
