Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
