Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Fuck appropriateness.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
