alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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