i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
