He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
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