you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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