I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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