I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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