How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
