I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
