is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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